After packing for my trip to Arizona I realized that I have a few serious problems...
I always pack too much...but to me it is for a good reason... I want to have choices. Considering there are days that I change my outfit 3 or 4 times before leaving the house, I want to make sure that I am prepared for this while I am away from home.
I am also convinced that my luggage is going to get lost... This has never happened to me before or anyone that I have traveled with but I am always assuming the worst will happen and I will be bad luck's prey...
I work hard for my belongings and I get anxious when I know other people are handling my stuff. Ever since the airlines told passengers to leave their suitcases unlocked (you know back in the day when you would be able to put a tiny padlock on the zipper in an attempt to keep people out). The airlines can now cut off these locks and rummage through your personal items while doing "routine, random searches". I assume that my bag is chosen every time... I strategically pack and keep a mental map of what my suitcase looks like when I hand it over to the enthused airline attendant, then when I get to my destination and open it up, I am SURE it was one that was chosen for a behind the scenes molestation.
Jason thinks I am mental (who could blame him, he is the one that gets to travel with this ball of anal nerves.) He just lets me tell my imagined stories and usually laughs at me for being so weird. What a guy....
I am sure anyone that reads this is thinking that I escaped from the Jamestown Mental Hospital but... I didn't... These are just a few of the many thoughts that cross my mind daily...
Continuing my journey... apprehensively traveling
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
My Inspiration
There are many people that we meet in our lives that leave an imprint on us. I could never have imagined even one year ago that i would be saying this particular person left the biggest imprint of all on me. One person in my life that I can honestly say has touched me, disappointed me, angered me, loved me, and most of all fought for me...Christopher Nicholas Whorley.
Growing up we were close because of our age and he always included me even though i was the only girl in the family (I have a brother and 4 male cousins on my mom's side of the family and also I have only two cousins on my dad's side who happen to be male as well...). He moved away when we were little and returned during our middle school and high school years. We would play at our grandma and grandpas house during family events and get in trouble together.
There was a time when we would go skiing up at Bottineau Winter Park with his dad, Brian and one or two of his friends. He always made me feel included even if I was his cousin and his friends were along. He never abandoned me.
After that summer, Chris moved to Texas with his family and that was when we started to differ. He was experimental, daring, and at times dangerous. I was afraid, self conscience, and safe. I felt like he abandoned me and the Chris I thought I knew was gone.
The next few years were really difficult. He had disappointed me and pissed me off more times than I could even count. Continually making bad decision after bad decision. I was trying to be the one in the family that does the "right thing."
Rarely seeing each other for years, he moved to Minot to live with my grandparents to try and get himself back to the person he wanted to be. Even then he was finding himself getting into trouble. That is when he joined the Army.
I still don't know the reason he went to the recruitment office that day. My mom told me about it and I didn't really give it much thought and continued on with my life. We were strangers at that point.
I remember this moment so vividly and will never forget the night I got the call....
I was on my way home from work and my mom called me as I was driving home. I could tell something was wrong and I parked in my parking spot, got out of my car, started walking towards my apartment and my mom said to me, "Chris has cancer." She was crying. I literally stopped in my tracks and sat down on the curb.I started crying and we both just sat on the phone and cried for a while. Not saying anything. We didn't know much other than he had a football sized tumor in his chest and it could be dangerous to remove.
The next few months were crazy. He was going through chemo and had a surgery scheduled. They removed the tumor, did a bit more chemo and was said to be in remission. I had many emotional moments during that time. I felt guilt, sadness, and anger. I wanted to just hug him and punch him at the same time. He was in the hospital on the other side of the country and I thought, what if he dies? I have so much I want to say and ask him. He was 20 years old and a month and 10 days younger than me.
The next time I heard from or about hims was the day I heard that he would be deployed to Afghanistan for a year. And of course when Chris was recruited his daring and adventurous side was with him that day making him choose a highly dangerous position.
He survived cancer and his year in Afghanistan. He returned to the United States in January.
I saw him for the first time in over a year this past week and it felt like the old Chris. The one that accepted me and included me even if I was a pain in the ass. His life has taken him to dangerous and life altering places and he came back the kindest person with the biggest heart. He does not take life for granted anymore and the people in it mean so much to him. He is not angry or seek pity from anyone. He is outgoing and will talk to anyone. He is proud of the work he did in Afghanistan and wants to share his experiences with the world.
Seeing where he was and where he is now is inspiring. He was in a dark place for a very long time and has found his peace. He sometimes shares too much information and gets himself into weird situations but he always makes me laugh. He is tall and unforgettable. His energy is infectious.
I am proud of him in so many ways I can't even begin to describe. I want to thank him for becoming the man he is today. I want to thank him for beating cancer and never giving up.I want to thank him for fighting for my freedom. Thank you. I love you. I miss you.
Continuing my journey...Inspired...
Growing up we were close because of our age and he always included me even though i was the only girl in the family (I have a brother and 4 male cousins on my mom's side of the family and also I have only two cousins on my dad's side who happen to be male as well...). He moved away when we were little and returned during our middle school and high school years. We would play at our grandma and grandpas house during family events and get in trouble together.
There was a time when we would go skiing up at Bottineau Winter Park with his dad, Brian and one or two of his friends. He always made me feel included even if I was his cousin and his friends were along. He never abandoned me.
After that summer, Chris moved to Texas with his family and that was when we started to differ. He was experimental, daring, and at times dangerous. I was afraid, self conscience, and safe. I felt like he abandoned me and the Chris I thought I knew was gone.
The next few years were really difficult. He had disappointed me and pissed me off more times than I could even count. Continually making bad decision after bad decision. I was trying to be the one in the family that does the "right thing."
Rarely seeing each other for years, he moved to Minot to live with my grandparents to try and get himself back to the person he wanted to be. Even then he was finding himself getting into trouble. That is when he joined the Army.
I still don't know the reason he went to the recruitment office that day. My mom told me about it and I didn't really give it much thought and continued on with my life. We were strangers at that point.
I remember this moment so vividly and will never forget the night I got the call....
I was on my way home from work and my mom called me as I was driving home. I could tell something was wrong and I parked in my parking spot, got out of my car, started walking towards my apartment and my mom said to me, "Chris has cancer." She was crying. I literally stopped in my tracks and sat down on the curb.I started crying and we both just sat on the phone and cried for a while. Not saying anything. We didn't know much other than he had a football sized tumor in his chest and it could be dangerous to remove.
The next few months were crazy. He was going through chemo and had a surgery scheduled. They removed the tumor, did a bit more chemo and was said to be in remission. I had many emotional moments during that time. I felt guilt, sadness, and anger. I wanted to just hug him and punch him at the same time. He was in the hospital on the other side of the country and I thought, what if he dies? I have so much I want to say and ask him. He was 20 years old and a month and 10 days younger than me.
The next time I heard from or about hims was the day I heard that he would be deployed to Afghanistan for a year. And of course when Chris was recruited his daring and adventurous side was with him that day making him choose a highly dangerous position.
He survived cancer and his year in Afghanistan. He returned to the United States in January.
I saw him for the first time in over a year this past week and it felt like the old Chris. The one that accepted me and included me even if I was a pain in the ass. His life has taken him to dangerous and life altering places and he came back the kindest person with the biggest heart. He does not take life for granted anymore and the people in it mean so much to him. He is not angry or seek pity from anyone. He is outgoing and will talk to anyone. He is proud of the work he did in Afghanistan and wants to share his experiences with the world.
Seeing where he was and where he is now is inspiring. He was in a dark place for a very long time and has found his peace. He sometimes shares too much information and gets himself into weird situations but he always makes me laugh. He is tall and unforgettable. His energy is infectious.
I am proud of him in so many ways I can't even begin to describe. I want to thank him for becoming the man he is today. I want to thank him for beating cancer and never giving up.I want to thank him for fighting for my freedom. Thank you. I love you. I miss you.
Continuing my journey...Inspired...
 |
| Chris and I ... Reunited... |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)